Stop Smoking Today

In general I’m finding the no smoking much easier now, but there are days like today where I just feel there is something missing.  Particularly during moments of boredom or excitement.  I haven’t worked out a strategy for specifically dealing with these situations (except to ensure I don’t go and buy that first pack of cigarettes).  I’m trying to waste as much time during my day by walking - so trips to the shops for 1 item are now very common.  In any event, days like today are a reminder that while the first few days are hard in many ways, as soon as the plain sailing starts you can still have challenging days, but the hope is these are few and farther between.

Well, as we approach 2 weeks all I can say is so far so good.  Unlike my first quit attempt in jan I don’t seem to have reached the stage where I’m coughing up all the nastiness that has been building up in my lungs for 10 years.  In the meantime, I’ve been feeding the addiction with food and to be fair I’ve put on a few pounds.  But I’m relaxed about that, with all the nervous energy I’ve got I’m comfortable that I’ll be able to knock that on the head.  I’ve ordered a green tea diet pack, to see how that helps things move along.  All in all, at this stage I can say I still miss the activity of smoking, but not the associated nastiness.  As I learnt from my earlier attempt no need to get complacent - one day at a time.

Well, I’m finding it tough going - while I know that having a cigarette won’t make me feel better, as is often the case you imagine things being nicer than they are.  Given that I am eating an enormous amount of food at the moment I’ve decided to undertake an emergency health regime.  I’ve joined a health club against my better judgement as I’ve usually not had the discipline to keep going - but I guess I might as well replace something I thought I enjoyed with something I’m sure I don’t enjoy in the hope that I could come out of it a health freak … we shall see.  I attempted my first run, and I was shocked at the state of my fitness - it seems the dcombination of smoking and a sedentary lifestyle has put my heart into hibernation.   It was a dreadful feeling being so short of breath after so little excercise, but I’m going to persevere.  I also found a great site about various aspects of self improvement - in this case an article on self discipline.  I was so inspired by it - I put on my trainers and went for a run (ok it was less than a mile), but the point is you need to inspire yourself into action.

Well, I haven’t posted to the blog for sometime and I really should have outed myself earlier - but I did start smoking during a week in which I was out and about most nights.  Anyway as they say ‘you can’t saw, sawdust’ - so I’ve been smoke free for 4 days now.  I’m in a pretty bad mood this time, but that might be due to other considerations and concerns I have at the moment.  Well I can’t keep putting myself through the pain of giving up, so I’m hoping that I can smash the demon this time.

Last few days have been punctuated with early morning thoughts of smoking, so today I thought I’d try a new solution.  This morning when i woke up, within about 5 minutes my mind wandered to the thought of a cigarette.  Now, as a full time smoker the first cigarette of the day was both the nastiest (after 8 hours of relaxing sleep you started chugging down those noxious fumes) but also the most powerful (having deprived your body of nicotene for a few hours).  Now as an ex-smoker the most important cigarette to avoid was clearly the first of the day, to this end as soon as I had that thought, rather than engage with it and let it fester - i put an old t-shirt on, some sweat pants and headed down the gym - you could just as easily go for a brisk walk etc.

The upshot of this is - an hour later, I’ve done an hour of excercise - which given the current condition of my lungs and cardiovascular system in general is no mean feat - which is all good.  I’m not thinking about smoking and I have that warm glow the excercise addicts love so much.

I think the principle that you do something useful when you feel the urge to smoke is a good one.  But the activity needs to be sufficiently engaging to totally distract you - which is why watching TV just don’t cut it.

Right, with virtually a month of smoke free (ok -so I smoked 3 cigarettes in january - better than the 600 I smoked in december) - I have more energy than I can ever remember.  This new energy is manifesting itself in very strange ways, I now get up around 5am - so at least 2 hours earlier than I used to and I go to bed at least 2 hours earlier.  As a result I’m no longer watching hours of crap TV at night because I can’t sleep AND I’m actually waking up refreshed.  In fact, after years of waking up tired - only to kick start the engine with a cigarette at 7am (now that was pretty nasty), I’m waking up full of beans.

I’m afraid to say while i was out last weekend I had a cigarette.  I can honestly say I didn’t enjoy it, which is almost a disappointment.  In any event, unlike last time I gave myself a stern talking to the day after and haven’t smoked since.  The point is, as a smoker it really is one day at a time.  On this occasion I smoked and didn’t resume smoking, but to be honest for the negligible enjoyment it gave me it just wasn’t worth it.  Let’s see what curveballs the demons throw at me this weekend.

As I woke up this morning it didn’t take more that 30 seconds for smoking to drift into my mind.  Now a few weeks ago what would have happened is that I would have acted upon that thought and my first activity of the day would have been to go outside and have a cigarette.  It’s impossible to describe the freedom I feel by not having to do it.  On the subject of the first fag of the day, I also have to say it was rarely satisfying.  While there were cigarettes I enjoyed (like the one with my coffee), that first cigarette of the day was usually pretty nasty.   As we head into the third week, I’m amazed how good I feel not to be smoking a cigarette at 7am!

Well nearly 2 weeks in, I must say it’s getting easier.  I keep avoiding what I consider to be the most difficult environment for a non-smoker namely the pub, but I’d rather give myself a bit more time before I start putting myself in risky situations.  The mind is still playing funny tricks, for example smoking was the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning, but as long as you don’t engage the thought you don’t start don’t that … i’m missing something road which inevitably leads to trouble.

I went for a walk last night and during the walk I considered what could possibly be one of the most stupid ideas ever - to reward myself for not smoking by having a smoke.  It’s just amazing the lies and manipulations your body and brain will try and put you through.  While I can understand the vertiable misery being experienced by my nicotene receptors right now - I’m sorry but you’re just gonna have to get through it.  So apart from this moment of mental madness, yesterday was quite easy to get through and we now move on to today … one day at a time.