Stop Smoking Today

Right, with virtually a month of smoke free (ok -so I smoked 3 cigarettes in january – better than the 600 I smoked in december) – I have more energy than I can ever remember.  This new energy is manifesting itself in very strange ways, I now get up around 5am – so at least 2 hours earlier than I used to and I go to bed at least 2 hours earlier.  As a result I’m no longer watching hours of crap TV at night because I can’t sleep AND I’m actually waking up refreshed.  In fact, after years of waking up tired – only to kick start the engine with a cigarette at 7am (now that was pretty nasty), I’m waking up full of beans.

I’m afraid to say while i was out last weekend I had a cigarette.  I can honestly say I didn’t enjoy it, which is almost a disappointment.  In any event, unlike last time I gave myself a stern talking to the day after and haven’t smoked since.  The point is, as a smoker it really is one day at a time.  On this occasion I smoked and didn’t resume smoking, but to be honest for the negligible enjoyment it gave me it just wasn’t worth it.  Let’s see what curveballs the demons throw at me this weekend.

As I woke up this morning it didn’t take more that 30 seconds for smoking to drift into my mind.  Now a few weeks ago what would have happened is that I would have acted upon that thought and my first activity of the day would have been to go outside and have a cigarette.  It’s impossible to describe the freedom I feel by not having to do it.  On the subject of the first fag of the day, I also have to say it was rarely satisfying.  While there were cigarettes I enjoyed (like the one with my coffee), that first cigarette of the day was usually pretty nasty.   As we head into the third week, I’m amazed how good I feel not to be smoking a cigarette at 7am!

Well nearly 2 weeks in, I must say it’s getting easier.  I keep avoiding what I consider to be the most difficult environment for a non-smoker namely the pub, but I’d rather give myself a bit more time before I start putting myself in risky situations.  The mind is still playing funny tricks, for example smoking was the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning, but as long as you don’t engage the thought you don’t start don’t that … i’m missing something road which inevitably leads to trouble.

I went for a walk last night and during the walk I considered what could possibly be one of the most stupid ideas ever – to reward myself for not smoking by having a smoke.  It’s just amazing the lies and manipulations your body and brain will try and put you through.  While I can understand the vertiable misery being experienced by my nicotene receptors right now – I’m sorry but you’re just gonna have to get through it.  So apart from this moment of mental madness, yesterday was quite easy to get through and we now move on to today … one day at a time.

Well, don’t mean to sound smug but I feel great today.  I even had a pint of beer last night (one of the things I have always associated with smoking) and that wasn’t too bad, although I don’t feel ready for a trip to the pub just yet.  It’s certainly getting a bit easier and the mood swings are becoming manageable so lots of positive feedback from my body.  I’m even going to have a coffee this morning, will report how I get on tommorrow.

Now, your first reaction to the comment ‘it gets easier’, may be that it sounds like the sort of thing either a smug non-smoker says or a smug ex-smoker says.  Indeed, that’s my own reaction.  However, I’ve been saying it to myself today and I’m tempted to agree.  So while I’m likely to have problems giving up smoking for quite some time, the intensity and frequency of the cravings is likely to diminish.  This is quite reassuring during a period when you are suffering from not smoking.  I’ve been a bit nicer today – which is a result for those round me although I fear I may have a few more unacceptable outbursts over the next few weeks.

Well 8 days in, I’ve finally recovered from the flu and haven’t touched a cigarette.  However, today I did note that I was being a bit short with people, including shouting at my mother when she asked me how the ‘not smoking’ was going … I seem to remember shouting something along the lines of ‘don’t talk about smoking’.  I followed up with a little shout at the girlfriend – sadly this sort of behaviour makes you feel like an idiot so I’m going to start going for a walk whenever I feel annoyed – I may also buy a karoke machine or similar and do some karoke … WATCH OUT WORLD.

Well, it seems that the flu was  a blessing in disguise.  Can’t really think about smoking, because all I can think about  is how crap I feel in general.  Will review how I feel once I’m better.  Only other thing to report is the fetid looking mucus that I am coughing out of my lungs.

Well – it seems that the flu and smoking are unlikely to be related.  Just so happened I got the flu at the same time I stopped smoking – so it follows that stopping smoking does not lead to flu like symptoms.   As it happens – being ill makes the no smoking a bit more manageable – as smoking is the last thing on my mind right now.  We shall see how I get on once I fully fit.  Day 3 … here we go….